looked at the calender!

ok, I looked at the calender and noticed that it has almost been 10 days and no post. Well, a HUGE part of this is because I have been super sick, YUCK!. I usually don't get sick, but when I do, it takes me down I guess.
I also noticed that our month is almost over? I am still waiting to hear from Mindy to see if we are going to keep going or not.
I have learned a lot about myself this month, and what really gets me through. For starters, taking stuff away, bad idea. I will always rebel, even if I REALLY REALLY want to be good. This month I focused on all the stuff I could have, and keep that my main goal. I did really good, and it worked well for me. I found that I was not having those little battles over whether or not I can justify this treat or nor. Truth is, I was so focused on the happy goodness that I was trying to ADD into my diet, that I hardly had a few treats, and when I did I enjoyed them. I didn't allow myself to feel guilty about a treat.
I also have like 3 side competitions going on LOL
1- competition with Kari to lose 10 pounds in one month. Sorry girl, I didn't reach that, I only lost 9 last time I weighed in. But, this is a victory to me. I could say it is my "at least I did" (from Mindy's last post) but In this case, I do not see that as a bad thing. I rocked 9 pounds, and I got sick. I did it by adding health back into my life and that is huge.
2- competition with Amy (she did kari's last comp) we are both trying to get to our goal weight so that we can go on a girls weekend YAHOO!!! I am very motivated by this, mostly because I want to be that number again, and of course because it doesn't matter where we go I know I will have fun with Amy.
3- competition with my sister. We are doing an over comp with monthly goals. Each month, the winner gets $10 (not much, but hey I'm not rich) we will go for 6 months. on top of that whomever reaches their "number" first gets the bonus $50. So, I could WIN $100 or I could lose $100. I am in it to win it. (mostly cause $100 is a lot of money to me)
So, with all these competitions, I am finding I am enjoying myself. With the exception of Kari's 10 pounds in 1 month, all of them are low stress and it helps me to know that I can be the tortoise and win. I would love to be able to be like the people on biggest loser and drop like 15 pounds in a week HELL YEAH. But I know I am not going to do that.

Above all, I am finding that slow and steady allows me to keep those things that are all too important to me: Happiness (not constantly stressing about everything going in my mouth) my milk supply (yes, I love breastfeeding my baby, and when I got sick, my supply dropped and that was hard for me. I am not ready to give that up he is only 8 months. So slow and steady weight loss if working for us) ENJOYING the journey I can say that I lost all this weight and I did it by being an amazon, but I want to enjoy this at the same time. I want to do it in a way that I can own the rest of my life. That other people can say, wow you did it by eating right, I CAN DO THAT. and last but not least.... I enjoy doing it without being a bitch. Yup, my husband has told me in the past that when I go all crazy and drastically reduce calories and train, train, train! I become a beast... that is nice husband for Bitch.

So there you have it, my thoughts for today!